


13th day of the month

by Allmylovelarrie



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlison - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comehometome, Do you know I love you?, Imissyou, Letterseveryday, Letterstoharry, Love Confessions, M/M, SoliderHarry, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22193830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allmylovelarrie/pseuds/Allmylovelarrie
Summary: Louis writes letters to Harry, but never sends them. Harry got his heartbroken and enlisted in the Army. He’s been gone since.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	13th day of the month

_1/13/12_

_Harry,_

_You left today. I hope you didn’t realize how badly I wanted to cry seeing you leave, seeing you leave in your army suit. I smiled through the pain. I couldn’t let you see that I wanted to cry. I had to be strong, not weak. I had to be strong. For you. You looked so handsome. I hope you know that._

_I had to be strong for you. We promised we wouldn’t write to each other because we knew it would be too hard for both of us, but I can’t keep all these feelings bottled up inside of me. Why did we agree to that again? I don’t even know why I agreed to that. This is stupid._

_I love you, Harry Edward Styles. I never admitted it to you, because I knew that you were leaving. I knew it’s what you wanted to do. Liam always told me that he knew that you felt the same way and that I should have told you when I had the chance… but I knew that if I had told you, you wouldn’t have gone. Because if you did feel the same way, you would have given up everything and anything for someone you loved._

_That’s the way you’ve always been. I guess that’s why you left to the army, because of Jackson. Jackson messed you up and the only thing you thought you be right was joining the army. I wish I had never introduced you to him, because maybe you’d still be here. Maybe you’d be here with me, in my arms. Wishing you were here; loving me._

_Right after you left, I sat down and started writing to you. Niall and the lads left to take you to the airport, I couldn’t go. I said I had to go see Eleanor, truth is I broke up with her right the moment you guys left. I just had, too. I don’t love her, Harry. I never did. I thought I did? But now I know I didn’t. She could never compare to you. Nobody can. Never. Do you know that, Harry? No one can ever be you._

_I love you. I love you. I love you so fucking much that… fuck. I’m crying, now laughing at myself for getting tears on this paper. If you ever read this, now you’ll know that I, Louis Tomlinson, shed tears for Mr. Styles._

_I love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_2/13/12_

_Harry,_

_I decided that I’m going to write on this day every month. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because it’s the day you left. The day I realized that I had probably lost the one person that meant the world to me._

_Well, let me give you the big info on what has been happening. Kate and Niall are still going strong, as well as Liam and Danielle. Zayn and I are the only single ones. I finally told the lads that I broke up with Eleanor; they know that I love you. Liam told them. He couldn’t help myself. Did he tell you?_

_I wanted to smack Liam when I found out he had told them, but at the same time what’s the point? You’re gone. You left. We haven’t heard from you for almost a month, it’s horrible. I know Liam writes to you, just to see how you’re doing. He never gets anything back. Why don’t you write back, Harry?_

_I haven’t been going out recently. I just pretty much keep to myself now a day. I don’t see the point of trying, when you’re not here. It saddens me that you’ll probably never know that I love you._

_I cry myself to sleep sometimes. You probably don’t want to know that, but it’s the truth. I saw your mum yesterday at the market, she cried when she saw me. She said I looked skinner and that I needed to go over to the house for a nice home cooked meal. Gotta love Anne._

_As we were leaving, she held me close and whispered that she knew that you loved me. I started crying, Harry. I started crying because how could you mom know but not me? I didn’t even think that you would ever feel the same way for me as I do. Did everyone know, but me? I don’t know, Curly. I’m not even going to bother to even ask anyone._

_I love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_3/13/12_

_–_

_Harry,_

_Well, nothing new has happened. I went over to your mums a couple weeks ago. She cooked me a nice home cooked meal, like she said. Oh, Harry it was amazing. I loved it. It was hard for me to see all the pictures of you all over you place; I teared up a bit as we looked over your baby pictures._

_You were such a cute little baby; do you know that? I bet you do. You have plenty of embarrassing pictures, so adorable. There was one picture your mum absolutely loves; it’s when Gemma had straightened your hair. Your mum couldn’t stop laughing, we had a nice laugh. It was nice for the moment._

_After, I left. I was driving back to our flat when your favorite song came out on the radio. I had to pull over because I was practically sobbing. I know, I’m writing this as if you’re dead. I know you’re a strong lad, I know you’ll do anything to survive over there; wherever you are. I know you’re safe._

_I pray every night that God keeps you safe. I hope that you know that I love you, Curly. I wonder if you still have your long curls. I bet you don’t. Don’t they shave your head over there into like a buzz cut? Oh, I hope not._

_I laughed at the thought of you not having any of your curls falling over your face; it gives you your little innocence._

_I love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_4/13/12_

_Harry,_

_Guess what? Liam proposed to Danielle. I know! It’s amazing! It was so beautiful. We were there, she was performing on a show, and I forgot what it’s called. I think X Factor? I don’t even know, but Liam ran on stage and proposed to her on national television!_

_It felt so surreal! It was amazing. She was crying and everything, they were so happy. You’d be so happy for them if you were here, right now. Liam says that he’ll wait until next year to see if you come back and if you do, you’ll get to see them get married. I wish I could send you this and you would know._

_Liam gave up on writing to you, because you would never reply. I was so angry at him for just giving up on you like that. It made me feel so disappointed, but at least I still get to write to you… right? Writing something that I know you’ll never read._

_Kind of bittersweet, don’t ya’ think? Bitter because I know you’ll never read this, but at the same time sweet because I get to feel as if I’m am writing to you. I wonder if I sent this, would you reply to me? You haven’t replied to Liam, but I like to think I’m different. Am I?_

_Dammit, Styles. Why did you have to leave to the army? I know Jackson fucked you over, but I could have helped you get through it! We, the lads, could have helped you! Fuck. Little old Louis over here crying again, but could you blame me? I saw the man I love walk away from me, without saying a word._

_You probably don’t even know that I love you. Oh, ever since Liam proposed Niall has been thinking about it, too. I’m happy for the mates, they deserve nothing but happiness. We all do, especially you after everything you went through. I need you, Curly._

_I need you, I need you. It’s so hard. It’s been what, three months since you left? It feels like forever to me. I’m being such a coward, such a child. I’m being so immature, but I don’t care._

_I love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_5/13/12_

_Harry,_

_A couple days ago, I saw Jackson. I stopped dead in my tracks when my eyes meet his. I wanted to throw myself at him and yell at him saying that it’s all his fault. He came up to me and asked me how you were doing. I said you had gone AWOL, but then told her that you had joined the army and had been gone for about four months._

_He looked shocked, until his new boyfriend came over and then he left without another word. That little whore. I hate him for what he did to you, you never deserved that._

_Liam and Danielle have already started planning their wedding. Eleanor is a bridesmaid, while Kate is the maid of honor. It was kind of weird seeing Eleanor again, we hooked up. I’m not going to lie, but I couldn’t help but picture your face while I was fucking her._

_Yes, fucking. Not love making, I don’t see it as that anymore, because well, I don’t love her. I felt awful after words, but it happened. I can’t change it. Did I ever really love her?_

_Niall got so pissed off when he found out. He shoved me and said how I could fuck someone while loving someone else. I know, good one Tomlinson. I showered like three times after, trying to get her scent and touch of me. I got her scent off, but not her touch._

_I could still feel her all over my body, weird right? I don’t know anymore, Curly. I’m so confused. I haven’t heard from you, your mum has. She called me and said you wrote to her saying you can’t say where you are, but that you’re alright._

_Great, at least I know that you’re safe wherever you are… even If you’re half-way across the world. I know you’re safe._

_I love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_6/13/12_

_Harry,_

_Zayn finally got himself a girlfriend! She’s some singer from the UK, I think. I don’t know, she’s a tiny lass with big blue eyes. She looks like a little doll; she reminds me of Cher._

_Anyways, I miss you. I really miss you. I don’t think I’ve missed you as much as I do today. I found the Jack Wills sweater you gave me a long time ago. I wore it today and it felt so comfy. It was tad bit too bit, but it still smells like you. Is that weird?_

_I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to Eleanor since last time. Danielle and Liam already found a nice house they are planning on moving into the next month or so, it’s really close by. That’s good, I suppose._

_Oh, her name is Perrie, Zayn’s girlfriend. The lads are coming over tonight for a little get together, Liam is cooking. I don’t know what he’s making, but I hope it’s good. Niall is bringing desert that Kate made, which we all know is fantastic._

_I had a dream about you last night, Harry. It felt so real. You were standing in front of me in your army suit, it felt so real. I woke up crying. You were standing right in front me, smiling so big. You didn’t have your curls anymore, you had a buzz cut. It didn’t look bad; it was that kind of long type of buzz cuts._

_You looked really fit, even taller maybe. You were about to say something, but then I woke up. It was crazy. I woke up to Zayn and I just started crying. He felt so bad, but he didn’t even know why. He just held me. Sometimes I feel as if it’s getting easier, but I know it isn’t._

_Fuck it, Styles. Why aren’t you here?! I need you back. I would do anything for you to just get on a plane and come back to me. Come back to me?_

_I fucking love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_7/13/12_

_Harry,_

_Well, I’ve gained weight. I pretty much gained what I lost back. I’m not all skin and bones, anymore. Haha. I’ve been eating well since I go to dinner at Nialls place now and to the gym with Liam. Zayn is really caught up on Perrie. He’s with her like every day, 24/7._

_They are lovesick, little puppies. It’s kind of cute, kind of what I hoped we’d be. Liam suggested that I should stop writing to you that maybe it would be easier for me to move on. Maybe he’s right._

_Well, I’ll still write, but not as much. We recently celebrated Kate’s birthday. We had a big surprise party and Niall accidently tripped while bringing her the cake, and fell right into in. Kate licked it off his face, it was so cute but so disgusting. We couldn’t stop laughing at how cute they were._

_Some soldiers came home today, Harry. We all went hoping to see you get off that plane, you never did._

_Where are you, Harry? I miss you. Too much. Too much that it feels as if I can’t breathe sometimes. Why? Why did you have to leave? If it was us together, I would have never done what he did to you. What he did was awful. No wonder you left at the very first chance you had._

_I fucking love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_8/13/12_

_Harry,_

_I’m good. I have all of the letters I have written you by my bedside table. It’s crazy. Seven letters you’ll never read._

_Well, I’m doing great… better than ever, I suppose. It gets better. Doesn’t it? I’m trying my best here, but I’ve got a bed to sleep in and a roof above my head. Do you have that also? I wouldn’t know because I never send these letters to you._

_I’m a coward, aren’t I?_

_I love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_9/13/12_

_Harry,_

_Eight months. Eight long months since I’ve seen your emerald green eyes, your long brown curls and your dazzling smile. Fuck life._

_I love you more than I did yesterday, but less than tomorrow. I hope you love me, Curly._

_I love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_10/13/12_

_It’s almost Halloween, yeah. How excited, we’re all dressing up this year. We’re going to be the Scooby-doo clan. I don’t know how that’s going to work, but we will find a way._

_Danielle and Liam are hosting the party at their new house as a welcome home party. They want to go all out and have a big bash. Maybe I’ll meet someone there that can help me get over you? I’m just kidding; I could never get over you. But you probably know that._

_You love Halloween. I wish you were here. We could have been a couple costume; would you have liked that? I like to think you would._

_Wishing you were here, Curly._

_I love you, Styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_11/13/12_

_November, It’s almost Thanksgiving, then Christmas… then, New Year’s Eve. It’s almost my birthday, too. I won’t be doing anything thought. Doesn’t feel right celebrating my birthday without you by my side. Is that weird?_

_Every night I pray that one day, the doorbell will knock and that you’ll be standing there, smiling at me._

_Oh, how a boy could dream. Niall is planning on proposing to Kate soon. I’m excited for them. Liam and Danielle are set to be married on January 12, the day before the year anniversary of when you left. Hopefully, you’ll be back by then. I don’t care if you get there a minute before the wedding, at least you’ll get there._

_Zayn says Hello, even though he knows you’ll never read this._

_I love you, styles._

_Forever, Louis._

_–_

_12/13/12_

_Harry,_

_Eleven months, shit mate. I haven’t seen you in eleven fucking months. I hate you. I fucking hate you, Harry. I hate for leaving me. I hate you for not knowing how much I fucking love you. I fucking hate myself for never telling you how much I fucking love you._

_I fucking love you, Styles._

_Forever and fucking always, Louis._

–

**_New Year’s Eve_ **

I stood clapping as I watched Kate say yes to Niall as he proposed. It was so beautiful; Niall was crying tears of joy. Oh, joy to the New Year.

I just wish Harry was here to enjoy this moment with all of us and our families. We even invited his family over here so they wouldn’t be alone. Anne was casually talking to my mum. They got along so well, no wonder Harry and I easily melted together.

It was about to be twelve, when I heard someone knock. I decided to get it, since everyone was practically already drunk and highly anticipating the New Year.

I opened the door and stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes went wide as my heart started beating faster and faster by the second. The music felt as if it was miles and miles away.

Harry fucking Styles was standing in front of me in all awe. He looked taller, fitter and my god, drop dead handsome. He looked the exact same way as he did in that dream I had months ago. His hair, no sight of any curls, still fucking handsome.

He smiled and dropped his bag. "Louis," he said lowly. He sounded so perfect, so real. So in person. I gulped as I felt tears spring my eyes. He reached into his bag and got something out. A packet of letters. My eyes went wide, _so many letters_. “I wrote to you, every day ever since I left.” His mouth twitched a smile as he fiddled with the envelopes. “I never sent them, because I thought we had an agreement… I love you, Louis Tomlinson. I had to come and tell you in person—“

I didn’t care about what he was saying; he was real in the flesh. **He came back to you**. I reached up to kiss him, as I closed my eyes until we heard. “HARRY!” Everybody yelled as soon as they caught eye of him.

I quickly pulled away from Harry as they all ran and hugged him as they pulled him inside. Everyone was greeting Harry and giving him kisses. Anne couldn't stop kissing him all over and crying. Everybody was happy. He was home. I couldn't help, but just stare at him. He was finally back. He was home. He was here with me. Is this a dream? Nobody pitch me, please.

Then, the countdown started.

**10..**

Harry came to me where I was standing against the kitchen counter.

**9..**

“I’ve missed you,” he said looking into my eyes as he stood in front of me.

**8…**

“I wrote you letters..” I said slowly as I put my hands on the belt loop of his uniform.

**7..**

His eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped. He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer.

**6..**

“I never sent them,” I said looking down as I felt my cheeks burning.

**5..**

“Maybe I could read them later?” He asked licking his lips, teasingly.

**4..**

“Of course,” I replied leaning in to him.

**3..**

“I love you, Boo bear.” I closed my eyes at the sound of the nickname, blushing slightly.

**2..**

“I love you, Hazza.” I felt his warm palm on my cheek and I melted into him. 

**1..**

Harry’s lips meet mine. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this was actually my first fic of Larry that I wrote in 2012 hence the dates! Let me know if you guys liked it. :)


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